Fanficlets - Gundam SEED [Destiny]

Title: Left Behind
Date: 2006/01/18
Author: Duokai
Rating: All (G)
Genre: Mood, angst
Pairing: Asucaga
Spoilers: None
Link to first publication: LiveJournal

Left Behind

Cagalli looked around in the small guestroom, still exactly the same as when he last left it. The bed was neatly made, reminding her about his military past. The small desk on the other hand was cluttered with things, and together with the clothes hanging on the chair it gave Cagalli a much needed feeling that he wasn't gone forever. Only away for a while.

But that couldn't shield her mind from the other thoughts. The thoughts that screamed out how lonely she was again. Most of the days she managed to keep herself busy enough not to notice. Not to feel it too deeply. But there were times when the feelings took over.

She picked up one of the small electronic trinkets that lay scattered on the desk and sat down on the bed, looking at the gadget. It wasn't anything particular, only a key-holder in the shape of small haro. He had done several of them with different uses. One was a small recorder for use as a pocket memory, another a camera. This particular one seemed to be a flashlight and nothing more. Not yet, anyway. He would probably finish it later, but for now it had to wait for his return. Just like she had to. Full of frustration she let herself fall back onto the bed. Stuck in a cage! She wasn't used to be left behind, and she definitely didn't like it! She had wanted to follow him. Be at his side. But the painful truth was that she was fettered to her place just as effectively as if someone had locked her in.

She rolled over and burrowed her face in the pillow. It still carried his smell. Or rather, a faint mix of all the smells that meant him. It was soothing and kind of relaxing, but at the same time a reminder of how far away he was now.

There was a lot she wished she had said to him before he left. Not that she really would have said some of them – some things were after all his to say, at least in her opinion. But still, maybe she should have realised earlier. Pushed him a little more. And – if he still hadn't been able to get the obvious – thrown all her stupid self-esteem overboard and just told him.

Cagalli hugged the pillow hard, wishing that it wasn't a pillow, but his warm body. She closed her eyes and let her thoughts wander free. Trying to remember the feel of his skin to her fingers. His protective embrace. His hands gently caressing her. Holding her. Him just being there for her. She curled herself together, and concentrating on the oddly comforting scent of him, her mind drifted away in a pleasant daydream.

* * *

Cagalli stretched out on the bed, suddenly realising that the light in the room was dimmed. She must have fallen asleep, her daydream seamlessly turning into a real dream. And a very nice one too; Cagalli smiled to herself. She rose from Athrun's bed, went over to the window and looked out. It was dark outside, the cool evening breeze rustling through the leaves.

She gazed up at the bright moon, just rising above the palm tops. But dreams were dreams, and not reality. She leaned with her arms on the windowsill, her eyes still scanning the dark blue night outside. And the person she dreamt about was thousands of kilometres away, far from her.

Still, dreams were the only things she had right now.

Copyright © 2009 Bit Alchemy Revolution & Tonakai Studio
Anime screenshot photo credits: Cagalli Yula Athha and Athrun Zala from Mobile Suit Gundam SEED and Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Destiny © Sunrise / Bandai